What did the butcher say to his girlfriend on their first date? “Nice to meat you.” What does the ghost call his true love? My ghoul-friend. Why should you never break up with a goalie? Because he is a keeper. Other Funny Jokes about Love, Marriage, and Relationships Why does Santa have such a heavy sack? He only comes once a year. How is life like a penis? It sometimes get hard when you least expect it. What did the sperm bank receptionist say to the clients before they left? ‘Thanks for coming! How is a snowstorm similar to sex? You never know how many inches you will get or how long it will last. What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spit, swallow, and gargle. What do you call an expert fisherman? A master baiter. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin’ off. What did the elephant say to the naked man? ‘How do you breathe through that tiny thing? What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’? About three inches. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Who wears the pants in our relationship? We prefer it when neither of us is wearing pants. If you force it, you are going to make a mess. I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try. Going back to your ex is like reading a book you have already read. My Ex texted me: I MISS YOU… So I replied: We’re sorry, the subscriber you are trying to reach doesn’t give a f*ck.Įver looked at your ex and wondered “Was I drunk the entire relationship?” Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely. What do you call a man made out of garbage? Your ex-boyfriend. It was so hot today…I almost called my ex-boyfriend to be around something shady. They look good for a while but, eventually, they fade and have to be replaced. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?īoyfriends are like blue jeans. Girlfriend: I dreamed I saw you in a jewelry store and you were buying me a diamond ring.īoyfriend: I had the same dream, and I saw your dad paying the bill. How do boyfriends exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. What’s the difference between a toddler and your boyfriend? I don’t know, do you? What do a boyfriend and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion. Never laugh at your girlfriend’s choices. Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. But have you ever had garlic bread with cheese? He replies, “I forgot my wallet.”īoyfriends are cool and stuff. The woman tells the man to say something to her that will get her heart racing. These love jokes are all in good fun, but make sure the relationship with your boyfriend is at that level before you share them.Ī couple is on a date at a fancy restaurant. Harsh, Yet Funny Jokes To Tell Your Boyfriend You: I think there’s something wrong with your lips. It should be L-U-V, because I know I can’t spell love without U! You: There’s something wrong with this dictionary. You: Look at that sign! *point to the no-smoking sign* They won’t let you and your smoking hot bod in! I feel the whole zoo when I am with you.ĭo you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.ĭo you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me! I think you are suffering…from a lack of vitamin me.įorget the butterflies. Who knew I would be an organ donor so early in life? I already gave my heart to you.ĭespite the contradictory advice circulated in the late ’90s… If you want to be my lover, please do not get with my friends. Every day I am with you, I fall for you all over again. I would say my heart, but it is just not as big.Įven though there aren’t any stars out tonight, you’re still shining like one.Īre you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, my clothes and the rest of the world disappears. Well apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you. They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. I know you’re busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list? Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house. I’ve had an off week, but seeing you always turns me on. Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for. Your boyfriend doesn’t get your fruit puns? You got to let that mango. ‘You’re beautiful’ has U in it, but ‘quickie’ has U and I together. It may sound cheesy… But you’ve stolen a pizza my heart. On a scale from 1 to 10, you’re a 9… and I’m the 1 you need. This might sound cheesy…But I think you’re grate.ĭo you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?ĭo you like sales? Because clothing is 100% off at my place. Sometimes you need to add some dirty, silly humor to the relationship! Some of these puns are clean and cute pick-up lines, while some might be raunchy zingers.
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